How to master the art of giving and receiving constructive comments

The ability to give and receive feedback is an important skill that, when delivered effectively, can produce positive change.   However, giving and receiving feedback is often one of the things we fear most in the workplace.  So, is there a way to make sure that feedback conversations are constructive and positive, rather than something that should be avoided?



if you can master the art of giving feedback, you are creating a valuable opportunity to help others reach their full potential.



 recommends using a tool developed by the global provider of professional development training, the Center for Creative Leadership, called the Situation - Behavior - Impact (SBI) model.



"The SBI method provides a clear and simple structure to provide feedback that helps keep your message focused and constructive and increases the likelihood that it will be received positively," he says.



So, how does it work?



Situation.

The first step when you give your opinion is to clearly delineate the situation to which it refers.   This puts the feedback in context and gives the recipient a specific reference.



For example:



"During last week's meeting with our client Peter "



"During yesterday's meeting, when John spoke to you in an aggressive way "



Behavior.

The next step is to describe the specific behaviors you want to address.   It is very important to address only the behaviors that you have observed directly, instead of making assumptions or being subjective about those behaviors.   Be sure to focus on the behaviors, not the person; this will help ensure that the receiver does not feel under personal attack.



For example:



"During last week's meeting with our client Peter, I noticed that you spoke three times about him, and when he tried to speak, you seemed disdainful."





"During yesterday's meeting, when John spoke to you in a way that I experienced as aggressive, I noticed that your tone remained calm and that you were able to clearly address the two issues that concerned you."



Impact.

The last step is to describe how the other person's action has affected the business, you or others.   Make sure that the feedback that is being given is enabled, so that the person at the receiving end can take action in relation to the feedback that is being given.



For example:



"During last week's meeting with Peter, I noticed that you spoke three times about him, and when he tried to speak, you seemed disdainful.   I think this had a negative impact on our relationship with the client who seemed to leave the meeting and felt unusual.   I felt disappointed and I saw it as a missed opportunity. "



During yesterday's meeting, when John spoke to you in a way that I experienced as aggressive, I noticed that your tone remained calm and that you were able to clearly address the two problems that were troubling you.   I was touched by the way he handled this difficult situation and helped us build trust in the relationship. "



Asking for feedback

On the receiving side, none of us is completely self-conscious.    suggests approaching feedback conversations with a curious and open mindset, especially when it's something he does not want to hear.



Tweet me!   "If you see the comments as an opportunity to grow and develop, you are less likely to feel attacked," says .



One way to feel comfortable when receiving feedback is to request it regularly.    recommends using the SBI tool to request comments, and the more specific your request for comments, the better.



For example:



[Situation]   "Hello, Angela, during last week's meeting when I gave my summary of actions, [Behavior], how did you feel about my communication style?   [Impact] In particular, how do you think my communication could be improved to help achieve the results we hope to achieve in the next year? "



The SBI method can provide a clear structure for both delivering and receiving feedback.   Be sure to take the time to fully prepare for these conversations, and remember that, regardless of whether you are giving or receiving, it is important to remain calm, control your emotions and listen to the other person's perspective.



Here are some useful tips for comment conversations:



When providing feedback:



Feedback must be timely so that the person receiving the feedback can easily remember the situation.

Choose the right moment.   Try to choose a time when both parties are in an open state of mind.

Prepare well   When giving feedback, be sure to handle your thoughts and emotions, especially when the person may have difficulty listening to them.

Try to use specific information in your description of the behavior you are giving your opinion about.   This helps ensure that your comments are objective.

Do not just follow a script.   While the SBI tool is an excellent way to structure comments, it is important to stay tuned and listen to the other person's perspective.

Be sure to also comment on what the person did well.

When receiving feedback:



It is important to listen and put yourself in a curious and open mentality.

See comments as an opportunity to grow and learn.

If you do not agree with the comments received, it is also good to share your perspective on the situation.

If you are not sure how to interpret the comments you receive, ask the person to clarify the use of the SBI model.



The ability to give and receive feedback is an important skill that, when delivered effectively, can produce positive change.   However, giving and receiving feedback is often one of the things we fear most in the workplace.  So, is there a way to make sure that feedback conversations are constructive and positive, rather than something that should be avoided?



if you can master the art of giving feedback, you are creating a valuable opportunity to help others reach their full potential.



 recommends using a tool developed by the global provider of professional development training, the Center for Creative Leadership, called the Situation - Behavior - Impact (SBI) model.



"The SBI method provides a clear and simple structure to provide feedback that helps keep your message focused and constructive and increases the likelihood that it will be received positively," he says.



So, how does it work?



Situation.

The first step when you give your opinion is to clearly delineate the situation to which it refers.   This puts the feedback in context and gives the recipient a specific reference.



For example:



"During last week's meeting with our client Peter "



"During yesterday's meeting, when John spoke to you in an aggressive way "



Behavior.

The next step is to describe the specific behaviors you want to address.   It is very important to only address the behaviors that you have observed directly, instead of making assumptions or being subjective about those behaviors.   Be sure to focus on the behaviors, not the person; this will help ensure that the receiver does not feel under personal attack.



For example:



"During last week's meeting with our client Peter, I noticed that you spoke three times about him, and when he tried to speak, you seemed disdainful."





"During yesterday's meeting, when John spoke to you in a way that I experienced as aggressive, I noticed that your tone remained calm and that you were able to clearly address the two issues that concerned you."



Impact.

The last step is to describe how the other person's action has affected the business, you or others.   Make sure that the feedback that is being given is enabled, so that the person at the receiving end can take action in relation to the feedback that is being given.



For example:



"During last week's meeting with Peter, I noticed that you spoke three times about him, and when he tried to speak, you seemed disdainful.   I think this had a negative impact on our relationship with the client who seemed to leave the meeting and felt unusual.   I felt disappointed and I saw it as a missed opportunity. "



During the meeting yesterday, when John spoke to you in a way that I experienced as aggressive, I noticed that your tone remained calm and that you were able to clearly address the two problems that   They worried.   I was touched by the way he handled this difficult situation and helped us build trust in the relationship. "



Asking for feedback

On the receiving side, none of us is completely self-conscious.    suggests approaching feedback conversations with a curious and open mindset, especially when it's something he does not want to hear.



Tweet me!   "If you see the comments as an opportunity to grow and develop, you are less likely to feel attacked," says .



One way to feel comfortable when receiving feedback is to request it regularly.    recommends using the SBI tool to request comments, and the more specific your request for comments, the better.



For example:



[Situation]   "Hello, Angela, during last week's meeting when I gave my summary of actions, [Behavior], how did you feel about my communication style?   [Impact] In particular, how do you think my communication could be improved to help achieve the results we hope to achieve in the next year? "



The SBI method can provide a clear structure for both delivering and receiving feedback.   Be sure to take the time to fully prepare for these conversations, and remember that, regardless of whether you are giving or receiving, it is important to remain calm, control your emotions and listen to the other person's perspective.



Here are some useful tips for comment conversations:



When providing feedback:



Feedback must be timely so that the person receiving the feedback can easily remember the situation.

Choose the right moment.   Try to choose a time when both parties are in an open state of mind.

Prepare well   When giving feedback, be sure to handle your thoughts and emotions, especially when the person may have difficulty listening to them.

Try to use specific information in your description of the behavior you are giving your opinion about.   This helps ensure that your comments are objective.

Do not just follow a script.   While the SBI tool is an excellent way to structure comments, it is important to stay tuned and listen to the other person's perspective.

Be sure to also comment on what the person did well.

When receiving feedback:



It is important to listen and put yourself in a curious and open mentality.

See comments as an opportunity to grow and learn.

If you do not agree with the comments received, it is also good to share your perspective on the situation.

If you are not sure how to interpret the comments you receive, ask the person to clarify the use of the SBI model.