How to master the art of feedback

We all need people to give us their opinion to help us grow and become aware of our blind spots.

Give feedback is   key   for growth and performance improvement.   I can not tell you how often I talk to people and organizations that have never received comments or have not done so in a long time.   Feedback must be frequent, as it can encourage and help individuals and teams feel more appreciated and valued.

Phobia for comments

Feedback drives the culture and organizational behavior.   This is the secret to promote any organizational, personal and professional growth.   With these data in mind, why do we still not focus on the comments?

The most common reason is that people see it as negative.   In other cases, once upon a time, they gave feedback and made a complete somersault and ended up in a discussion.   However, there is a technique on how to give and receive feedback without it being so scary.

It was only the other day that I was facilitating a group and we were talking about brands and personal behaviors.   I was explaining that the only way we can discover our unconscious behaviors was to ask for comments to expose our blind spots.   I can not tell you how nervous we all were.   However, the results were outstanding.

The mentality is all

There is a trick to giving honest feedback when the receiver is sitting there with open arms.   First, start with your mentality.   If you enter a conversation thinking that the feedback is negative, what kind of conversation do you think you are going to have?   Right.   It is not so nice.

If we see feedback as 'critical' or 'negative', imagine not only how this makes us feel, but also the receiver.   The use of words that transmit a lower vibration will make your walls rise instantly and the person to whom you were willing to give your opinion will be closed from anything constructive you have to share with them.   On the other hand, positive words and an open mind will facilitate the process in both parties.   Constructive feedback is   key   .

First ask permission

If you request permission first, you will appreciate that you are taking the first step to improve a situation.   They will also recognize that you respect them enough to see if they are open and ready to receive your comments. You will be surprised at how much difference this makes.

Once you have asked for permission, if you say "no", respect your decision absolutely and leave it with them.   I usually say, "When you're ready to receive your comments and have the right mindset, let me know." Ninety-nine percent of the time, in about ten minutes, they have   so much   curiosity   by   Know what you told them that they came to chase you to find out.

Always start with   the   positive

Once you have your permission, always start with something positive.   For example, when running a program to speak in public, I can say to a person: "Great job, Samantha, I loved the way you had so much confidence in your voice and the way you just talked."

Always start with a 'positive' with your comments to stimulate the reward center in the brain.   Leave the recipient open to take new directions.   By beginning your comments with something positive, you have not only asked for their permission to be open and ready to receive your comments, but also open them up even more.

Constructive feedback with   a   Question

The next bit is where the constructive feedback comes into play.   However, I personally never give them feedback.   They give it to themselves.   I ask for the comments I want to give with a question. It could be as simple as "how do you think you went with your presentation to the team right now?"

Allow them to share their ideas.   Pause.   Allow them time to reflect.   Pause and pause until they say, "What do you think?" - "Well  I think the movements of the team could be more coordinated." Silence is gold;   The power of the pause causes people to speak because they feel uncomfortable sitting there in silence.

In addition to the key questions, be very specific.   Avoid vagueness if you are asked to give your opinion.   Use examples and get the 'why' without avoiding the problem or the actual behavior.

Wrap it up with positive comments

You see, giving feedback with a question makes them feel that you did not give them feedback.   Quite the contrary;   They will feel empowered, as if they had found the solution themselves.

Just because you did it this way, you will feel that you really understand them as an individual.   Then wrap it with a positive comment: "Overall, Samantha, I think she communicated very clearly." Just be sure to continue with a suggestion, solution or result together.

Close the comment loop

When I receive feedback, I always thank the person for giving me feedback.   Even if I can not relate to him, I know that I am not destined to relate to him, otherwise I would be conscious.

Therefore, once I receive the feedback, I see it as constructive.   I look at what I can learn from these comments and what my action plan is.   It's great to receive comments, but if you do not do anything with that, well  what a waste of time and energy.   The only way to close the comment cycle is to ask yourself what you are going to do about it.   What would you do differently next time?

Do not be afraid to give or get feedback;   It is essential for a growth mindset.